so my plan for halloween is to dress up as a Nazgul with my black horse and go trick or treating but instead of saying “trick or treat” i’ll either scream or hiss “Bagginssssssssss, Shhhhhhhire” and then ransack their villages in my search for the One Ring
i was joking
oh dear god
HOW MANY PEOPLE DID YOU TERRORIZE
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”
i dont get it
No one explain it
After the Roman drinks the beers, he tells the bartender, “I want a martinus.”
"Don’t you mean a martini?”
"If I wanted two, I would’ve asked for them."
these are the best jokes ever
if you ever try to befriend me and you expect to be in frequent contact with me i am so sorry. i do that with maybe two people and even then i often go days or weeks withouts saying anything before talking daily for a while.
the point is if we dont talk that doesnt mean i dont like u and think about u a lot im just terrible at maintaining close relationships
I hate how well this describes me